He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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