It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
