I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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