That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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