For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
