I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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