You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw a hot homeless man
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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