I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Barsexuality is the new black.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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