I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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