he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This is the high leading the old right now
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
