Sry I called you an 8
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
