I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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