U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
