yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
