Your face is a jimmy john
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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