somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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