He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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