let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
