the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
