Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
