We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
