it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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