Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
