his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
