So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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