On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
