i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i've created a new STD.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
