hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
