I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
