It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
