Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
