??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
