i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
