I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize