So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
