is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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