Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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