her vagine was all disorganized.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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