I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
