There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
