paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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