she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
