he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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