U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
