i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
