We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
