guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
