the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
