Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
