Small penises have feelings too.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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