Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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