addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
