Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
