At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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