STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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