Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
