he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
handjob tips. give me some.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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