You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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