this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize