it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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