I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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