So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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